We all want to promote moral development in our children. This means, for example, that they should think, “I don't want to do ‘X’ because it will hurt my friend’s feelings, and that is wrong.” we shouldn’t want them to think that the only thing wrong with doing ‘X’ is that “My parents will disapprove get angry or punish me”, because that teaches them that if it weren’t for the punishment, doing wrong is just fine. Disapproval and punishment is an extrinsic effect of misbehavior, whereas hurting someone else's feelings is an intrinsic effect. We want to promote this intrinsic awareness of what's right and wrong as a guide for our child. We do this by description. When a child takes away another child's toy unfairly, don’t say, “Bad boy, no grabbing!” which expresses anger and disapproval and provides an external reason to refrain from the behavior.

Remember, as parents we intervene in sibling fights not to be the judge but to open channels of communication that have been blocked. Dealing with fighting kids isn’t easy, but it presents an opportunity to help your children grow and learn.

Equal doesn’t always have to be equal. You don’t have to always give equal treats, equal attention, equal time and equal toys to your children. You need to only give these things in the approximate amount that each child needs, and your children will perceive that as equal and fair. 

Do there seem to be endless battles in your house? Are you constantly asked to be the judge of sibling squabbles? Are both children jealous of each other and competing for your attention? Dealing with sibling rivalry and conflict can be very challenging, but following a few simple tips can help you find its source and develop practical solutions.

Famed psychologist of the 1960’s, Haim Ginott, came up with some amazing parenting ideas. I’ve synthesized his work with some of my own ideas and added explanation and advice, as follows.

Every parent has gone through a period where their child refuses to follow instructions. Children often misbehave or disobey because a want or need is not being met. When we, as parents, recognize why our children are being uncooperative, we can take steps to improve communication and compliance. The following parenting tips can help you address behavior challenges so you no longer have to think, “I don’t know how to get my child to obey.” Please bear in mind that the following principles represent a parenting ideal, and I don’t expect anyone to fulfill them perfectly. Therefore, have patience with yourself and try to implement new ideas gradually.

Almost every parent has thought at some point, “I don’t know how to get my child to cooperate.” You may feel like you are at your wits’ end, unsure what else you can try to improve your child’s behavior and compliance. The following suggestions are based on the work of Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, renowned parenting experts, synthesized with my own ideas that come from my research, training and experience helping parents and children learn to communicate and cooperate. Please bear in mind that the principles I offer here represent a parenting ideal, and I don’t expect anyone to fulfil them perfectly. Have patience with yourself and your child, and try to implement new ideas gradually.

It can be unhealthy or disruptive to allow your child to do whatever he or she wants whenever he or she wants. You have to limit his or her behavior for everyone’s safety and well-being. However, your child can and should be able to feel anything he or she needs or wants to feel. Feelings are involuntary and automatic. We cannot control them and they are not the result of choice. Therefore, we should not be held responsible for how we feel, even if it is uncomfortable to someone else. You must accept and validate your child’s feelings if you wish to foster greater emotional health and resiliency. 

In their classic book “How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk”, Faber and Mazlish, international experts on parent-child communication, list five amazing techniques to deal with children’s difficult or oppositional behaviors and emotions. By describing, giving information, saying with one word, saying how you feel and writing notes, you can learn how to get your child to listen. In this post, I’ve synthesized Faber’s and Mazlish’s thoughts with my own ideas on how to gain a child’s cooperation and added elucidation. Please bear in mind that the following principles represent a parenting ideal, and I don’t expect anyone to fulfil them perfectly. Therefore, have patience with yourself and try to implement new ideas gradually.