In considering what to do when a child makes a mistake, we need to remember that when a child makes a mistake and is reprimanded or criticized, it prevents him from learning from the mistake. He feel so ashamed and put down by the reprimand that he wants to put the whole event out of his memory and so he tries to forget about it, and so the next time when the same situation arises he's more likely to make the same mistake again. The point of a reprimand is supposedly that the child will think, “Last time I did this I got an unpleasant reprimand, so I'll be careful not to do it again so I don't get a another reprimand.” 

Kids who are polite and well behaved are very attractive. We see polite children every day here in downtown Manhattan, and we adults are rightfully proud of them and of our families. However, this may not be the most important thing for the children. It is much more important that they be emotionally healthy and happy even if they are a little impolite and sometimes misbehave.

We all understand that a wise parent doesn’t put down his or her child verbally. Instead, many parenting guides will say to catch your child doing good and praise him. Lavishly extoll his virtues and qualities, his brains, beauty, and especially his good deeds. This, they say, is the way to build healthy self-esteem in a child. However, as we shall see, there are many difficulties with this approach.

Focus, above all, on building the parent-child relationship. It is the foundation on which all your child’s well-being lies. You have the opportunity to create a reservoir of trust, mutual confidence, reason, explanation, negotiation, accommodation, consideration, unconditional love and approval. When misbehaviour or problems arise, you can draw on this reservoir and resolve the issues, and you will therefore not need punishment, force or other harsh tactics. Children are very eager to please parents when they enjoy this warm relationship.