There are many individuals, both adults, teens and children, who struggle with perfectionistic tendencies, and they may wonder, “Is Perfectionism a mental disorder?” The answer is, sometimes no, but often yes!Read More
Many parents struggle with a child having anxiety about death. Maybe a grandparent has passed away, or maybe even a closer family member, and the child is worried it may happen to others he or she loves.Read More
In order to learn how to prevent emotional and behavioral disorders in children, we need to understand that, contrary to popular belief, disorders such as anxiety, depression, ADHD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder and almost all others, are in my opinion and my clinical experience, NOT caused by genetics and biology! As has been demonstrated to me countless times, they occur when a child is born with a particularly sensitive temperament, and then experiences certain adverse childhood stressors, which because of his sensitive nature, are experienced as a trauma. The emotional disorder is the body and mind’s maladaptive attempt to cope with that trauma.Read More
My opinion in general is that using medications for your child’s ADHD and other issues, including psychotropic meds such as Ritalin, Prozac, etc., should be reserved for more serious situations. For example, if a child diagnosed with ADHD is getting B’s and C’s it is probably overdoing it to put him on meds.Read More
It is remarkable how well Play Therapy interventions for ADHD work! I have seen wonderful results with many children, and abundant research supports its effectiveness.
Play therapy operates with three main mechanisms: 1) Helping the child process distracting emotions, 2) Improving the power of decision and executive functioning, and 3) reducing impulsivity. Together with Parenting Counseling, it is doubly effective.
While we do not allow all behaviors in children, we should allow and accept all feelings. Feelings are automatic and natural and not a product of conscious choice, so letting them flow is necessary for a child’s emotional development. However, when children express strong or negative feelings and desires, they are often met with disapproval by their parents or other adults. If he or she says, “I hate my brother!” the parent may respond, “Don’t say that! You really love him.”Read More
Let's say you had a family doctor who were to prescribe to a person to eat less and get more exercise. Wouldn't that be great advice for 99 percent of Americans? He can give you that advice without ever examining you because he knows that we are in the middle of an epidemic of over-eating and under-exercise, and 99 out of 100 it will be great advice for you. Parenting is the same way. Without ever having interviewed them I can prescribe to 99 percent of parents to criticize less, boss around less, be less controlling, reprimand less, punish less and to be more gentle, more flexible, more patient, more tolerant and more humble before children. This is because we are in the middle of an epidemic of loving, well-intentioned, dedicated parents who are unfortunately making the inadvertent mistakes of being a little too strict and harsh with their children, and who are missing the crucial element of raising their children's happiness level and fulfilling their emotional needs. As soon as the parent calls me and tells me they are having problems with their children I know the above is the case 99 percent of the time before ever hearing any of the details.Read More
How did my child ever get to be so difficult to handle? Is it all my fault? Was he born so anxious, and I just have bad luck? Many parents struggle with understanding the rhyme and reason behind their child’s emotional issues.Read More
Anxiety depression and other emotional health problems have their roots in the patient’s early childhood history. Many people suffering from these issues report at first, “I had a wonderful childhood, I was very happy,” but then in therapy reveal that their childhood was actually troubled and their relationship with their parents was conflicted, and although their parents were loving and well-intentioned they may have made some unfortunate but serious mistakesRead More
A perfectionist is someone who deep down inside feels terrible about himself and tries to redeem himself from that poor self-image by achieving a perfect performance or by accomplishing truly amazing things. He feels that if he can finally get things just right, then and only then will he be a worthwhile person, but if he achieves any less than perfect he remains with feelings of being a failure. However in considering how to treat perfectionism in young people, we must remember that this goal is an illusion that never succeeds, since even the most perfect performance cannot cure low self-esteem.Read More