Many parents struggle with a child having anxiety about death. Maybe a grandparent has passed away, or maybe even a closer family member, and the child is worried it may happen to others he or she loves. Maybe he is troubled by the thought, “You mean some day I’m definitely going to be dead and gone?” Maybe these thoughts are generating significant anxiety, preoccupation, and even obsessive thoughts in the mind of the child. How do we overcome this? How do we guide such a child to lead a healthy and happy life?
Well, I have one amazing solution to the problem of a child having anxiety about death, and it works like a charm!
It’s been around for a long time and has become a little bit unpopular in many circles in the west nowadays, but that doesn’t take away from its golden effectiveness. I have been searching for years for a second solution to the problem, but I have not had any success finding anything. If you know of or can think of another technique, please email me right away and I will incorporate it into my practice. I am continuously searching far and wide for alternative solutions, and if you don’t like this one solution I already have, you can come back in a year or so and maybe by them I will have another one! But for now, it pays to give this one a chance because it is extremely effective.
The only and best solution to a child having anxiety about death is Religion!
Now you don’t have to become a religious fanatic, all you have to do is teach the child a basic belief in God, a creator or a higher power, and very importantly the afterlife. Simply instill a firm belief in the child that God created us and is taking care of us, and when we die, we go to the afterlife to be together in everlasting happiness with God AND all of our loved ones and friends. You have no idea how helpful and comforting belief and knowledge of that fact is to a child! A child having anxiety about death is a much more potent problem for them because they are small, weak and relatively powerless, they fear abandonment and separation from loved ones much more than adults do, and it is very important that they be reassured. In addition, a particular child may be of a bit more of a philosophical bent, and is thinking things like, “What is the meaning and purpose of life? Why are we here? How did we get here? Why do bad things happen to good people I love?” Basic religious belief provides very helpful answers to these questions.
I know that to many people religion is unpopular, and many parents don’t believe it themselves,
but for the benefit of your child it pays to cultivate such basic beliefs yourself, because obviously you have to believe it yourself if you are going to impart it to your child! Wouldn’t it be worth doing so to relieve your child of his or her terrible anxiety? Of course, keep in mind that it is not a one day solution, it will require a few months of reviewing these beliefs to work, it is a long term solution.
By the way there are many other great reasons why it pays to cultivate basic religious beliefs in your family.
All the research shows that people who pray, believe in and observe for example the different forms of Christianity, Judaism and Islam, have a much lower incidence of mental and emotional illness, better social lives, a lower rate of divorce, greater marital harmony, a longer life expectancy, lower incidence of heart disease, stroke and cancer, much elevated happiness and contentment levels, more successful careers, and even better marital intimacy, on top of the fact that it resolves the difficulty of a child having anxiety about death! Isn’t it worth jumping even a little bit on the religion bandwagon to give your kids all those wonderful benefits?
Now if your child asks you, if God exists, and he is taking care of us, why does he let bad things happen to good people,
there are many great answers to that question which are a little beyond the scope of this article. I have been studying these questions for more than 20 years and I am happy to discuss it with you via email. However now I will give you a few basic answers:
Everything God does to us is ultimately for our benefit. Even bad things have important lessons to teach us. Let’s say you have a person who is having an enjoyable life, but he makes mistakes such as indulging in dishonorable activities and being unkind to others. Then God may send him a tragedy in his life, a sickness or some suffering. That causes him to do some soul-searching and he begins to think, maybe I was behaving improperly and that’s why these bad things happened to me? Maybe I should be a better person? So in the end the suffering conveyed him the great benefit of repenting and becoming a wonderful person. Wasn’t that worth it?
Let’s say you have a person with a comfortable life but he takes it for granted
and doesn’t appreciate what he has, and even complains and grumbles. Then God sends suffering upon him temporarily and in the midst of that he remembers how good he had it before and wishes, if only I could have my old life back! Then eventually the suffering passes and he becomes a much more appreciative person with much more noble values. In other words, suffering teaches good people to care about truly valuable things, such as health, family, honesty and kindness, and to abandon the vain pursuit of temporary, selfish pleasures.
In addition we must understand that most major religions agree that we were created in order to struggle with good and bad in this world in order to earn a great spiritual reward in the afterlife! Suffering helps us keep our eye on that goal and prevents us from wasting our time. In other words, the possibility of making bad choices and causing bad things to happen must exist in order for us to be able to truly choose to be good and earn reward. If God forced everyone to be good there would be no point in living, we would all be robots!
Furthermore everyone, even very good people, make mistakes in this world, and suffering is that amazing gift that atones for, rectifies, and cleanses us of the consequences of our mistakes!
Feel free to email me if you’d like to discuss it further.
If your family already does have basic religious beliefs, but your child still has anxiety, the solution is to deepen your religious study, because even observant families nowadays in the west are completely engulfed with anti-religious, anti-God sentiment and propaganda. You have to vigorously counteract all the ideas your children are getting from the media, public school and the world at large.
Please enjoy perusing my fascinating blog, view my videos, or download one of my informative free reports at the bottom of this page, and get on my email list. If you are struggling with a child having anxiety about death, and feel I may be the right therapist to help you, you may send me and email, or call me directly at 646-681-1707 for a complementary 15-minute consultation. I look forward to speaking with you!