Are you tired or those constant sibling squabbles? Does your parental intervention just make it worse? Do you feel your kids just crave unlimited attention? Are you running out of sibling rivalry solutions?

Almost all misbehavior is caused by unhappiness over the child’s needs being unfulfilled. The purpose of the child’s attachment with his parents is to fulfill those emotional and physical needs, so the lack of happiness he feels at the time of misbehavior is usually the result of his feeling not as attached as he needs to be

Many parenting authorities will advise you about ignoring bad behavior in children such as tantrums, claiming that the child just wants attention and giving it to him in that moment will encourage him to behave that way in the future to get the attention he craves. The logic is the child will think, “I want attention and love. Last time I made a terrible tantrum I got the attention I wanted, therefore now I am going to fabricate and entire tantrum, that is purposely force myself to behave terribly, to get what I want.”

Many times parents voice a complaint about selfishness in children. They feel their children are endlessly needy and demanding, even greedy, and don't seem to think of or have consideration for others. This generates fear in the parents that their children will lead a life of selfishness and poor character traits and certainly won’t be liked. 

Remember that children are completely dependent upon their parents, both emotionally and physically, and any conflict between you and them threatens their critical lifeline. You are their whole world! Therefore if he or she says “I hate you,” it means that he is suffering intensely and is truly desperate. It is precisely at that moment that he needs our support and understanding emotionally. It is very important that we don’t take it personally and react in an adversarial way.    

First of all, don’t overreact. It is usually not a sign that he or she is heading towards a life of crime. If it’s a pre-school child who is taking other children’s toys, it is because he lacks mature impulse control and is not fully responsible for what he is doing.

Children often engage in mischief. They do what they're not supposed to, they don't do what they are supposed to, and sometimes they don't listen at all. Over time this child discipline situation can make us as parents feel very frustrated and angry. 

Are you frustrated with your child's lack of focus and poor school performance? Are you upset by your child's misbehavior and impulsivity? If you are you interested in a simultaneous or alternative treatment to ADHD medication, or a longer lasting treatment that continues after the meds have worn off, I highly recommend Parenting Counseling.

In considering how to discipline a child, remember that if you have to enforce a limit in a particular area and the child is unhappy with it, try to cushion the blow by giving an extra freedom or privilege somewhere else. This will make the child more likely to comply with the limit. Say, “You can’t climb on the rocks, but you can go on the swings.” Say, “You can’t bounce the ball in the living room, but you can in the hallway by the door.” 

Our children’s misbehavior may sometimes infuriate us. They may misbehave frequently, and the resulting anger we as parents feel should not necessarily be disregarded or condemned, as it is sometimes a natural reaction. However, yelling at the children or retaliating in some way always seems on reflection to be counterproductive and emotionally harmful to both parent and child. Moreover, it often doesn’t seem to prevent the behavior from repeating itself!

The following advice about how not to spoil your child is inspired by the work of my dear mentor, Dr. Ben Sorotzkin, to whose work I have added some of my own ideas. No parent wants her child to be spoiled, selfish, and demanding. Can this be avoided or resolved by reducing the number of material things we give them? How does a child get this way? How do we prevent it?