How to be Patient with your Child

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How to be Patient with your Child

Parenting requires a great deal of patience. Children can really press our buttons, and sometimes, you may need to really work hard to keep calm. They can constantly ask us for things, and it can feel overwhelming because their requests seem endless. But there is someone else who also deserves generous patience. You. It is okay to cut yourself slack and have patience with your progress as a parent. Changing old habits is a process, and it must be done gradually. It’s like a doctor that gives you medicine and says, “Take one pill every day for two weeks.” What if you said, “I’m going to get better really fast. I’m going to take all 14 pills in one day!” How well would that work? The same goes for parenting counseling. 

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Self-Esteem: Do you at times feel terrible and at times fantastic?

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Self-Esteem: Do you at times feel terrible and at times fantastic?

There is a common situation that many emotionally unhealthy individuals find themselves in. They alternate between feeling very badly about themselves, that is suffering from very poor self-esteem on the one hand, but on the other hand feeling very grandiose, superior and amazing. This is nothing but an attempt to bounce themselves out of those bad feelings by imagining themselves having superior, amazing qualities, which are so great that they can redeem him from even the most terrible feelings of low self-worth.

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Low self-esteem: The pitfalls of using great accomplishments to raise it.

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Low self-esteem: The pitfalls of using great accomplishments to raise it.

Some people unfortunately very deep down inside feel badly about themselves. They suffer from chronic low self-worth or low self-esteem. Often times such people develop a strategy to relieve themselves of such feelings. They think "All I have to do is accomplish great things and then I will be a worthy person deserving of high self-esteem. Then I will feel good about myself." So begins the quest for accomplishment. It can be a lifelong endeavor, seeking goal after goal in the hopes that just one more great success will finally relieve the person’s poor feelings about himself. 

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What are the top reasons why people avoid psychotherapy?

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What are the top reasons why people avoid psychotherapy?

Do you know people who truly need good psychotherapy but seem to be unmotivated to pursue it seriously? Maybe you know someone who started therapy but just when he began to get better he quit. How do we understand this peculiar self-defeating behavior? Alice Miller, the famed psychotherapist who explained the role of childhood in emotional illness, explains the top reasons why people avoid psychotherapy in the title of her magnum opus, The Drama of the Gifted Child. What gift does the child have? He or she has the amazing ability to survive childhood trauma. 

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How to change negative thinking

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How to change negative thinking

Anxiety depression and other emotional health problems have their roots in the patient’s early childhood history. Many people suffering from these issues report at first, “I had a wonderful childhood, I was very happy,” but then in therapy reveal that their childhood was actually troubled and their relationship with their parents was conflicted, and although their parents were loving and well-intentioned they may have made some unfortunate but serious mistakes

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How to Treat Perfectionism in Young People

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How to Treat Perfectionism in Young People

A perfectionist is someone who deep down inside feels terrible about himself and tries to redeem himself from that poor self-image by achieving a perfect performance or by accomplishing truly amazing things. He feels that if he can finally get things just right, then and only then will he be a worthwhile person, but if he achieves any less than perfect he remains with feelings of being a failure. However in considering how to treat perfectionism in young people, we must remember that this goal is an illusion that never succeeds, since even the most perfect performance cannot cure low self-esteem. 

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Integrating therapy with 12-Step Programs - Why the steps alone won't do it!

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Integrating therapy with 12-Step Programs - Why the steps alone won't do it!

Have you participated in 12-Step meetings for years, and found them helpful, but still feel that something is missing? Do you know people who work those programs diligently, but still suffer from major emotional health problems and unhealthy lifestyles? Would you like to finally find true and lasting recovery?

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