How to help my child feel good about himself: The secret to true self-esteem.

How to help my child feel good about himself: The secret to true self-esteem.

Self-esteem is based on having a conscious awareness of, honoring and respecting one's own emotions, needs, decisions and desires. A person with healthy self-esteem thinks, “I am aware of how I feel. Sometimes I feel this way, and sometimes I feel that way. I have a right to feel anything I want. My desires are legitimate and should be honored. I have a right to honor and try to fulfill any of my desires. My needs are important and people need to respect and attend to them. My decisions are valid and important and need to be honored and respected by people.” Such a person not only has a healthy relationship with himself, but since he treats himself with so much respect, he tends to treat others with equal respect and to be very kind, generous and helpful. How do we get a child to think in this healthy way

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Happiness is not just a plus, it’s a need and the most important tool for child success!

Happiness is not just a plus, it’s a need and the most important tool for child success!

Many parents think that happiness is like a goal that they would like their children to achieve some day, like it's the icing on the cake. The important thing in life is to be a good person and to be successful, and happiness is like a nice pleasant extra. However I'm saying that happiness is like a tool that must be constantly applied in a child's life, it is the most important tool for child success. It is a most critical ingredient in the recipe for moral character.

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The Effects of Conditional Love, Conditional Approval, Conditional Respect.

The Effects of Conditional Love, Conditional Approval, Conditional Respect.

An emotionally healthy person loves, approves of and respects himself unconditionally. That means that he recognizes his intrinsic value as a person, and he does not allow his mistakes to take away from his own self-estimation of that value. Furthermore, he does not make that approval or respect dependent on superior achievement or especially good deeds, rather on the authenticity of his feelings and his faith that overall, he is a decent, worthwhile person. His default setting, so to speak, is “I’m Ok just the way I am.”

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Using Medications for Your Child’s ADHD, Behavior Problems, Anxiety or Depression: 25 Amazing Tips

Using Medications for Your Child’s ADHD, Behavior Problems, Anxiety or Depression: 25 Amazing Tips

My opinion in general is that using medications for your child’s ADHD and other issues, including psychotropic meds such as Ritalin, Prozac, etc., should be reserved for more serious situations. For example, if a child diagnosed with ADHD is getting B’s and C’s it is probably overdoing it to put him on meds.

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Play Therapy Interventions for ADHD: How does it work?

Play Therapy Interventions for ADHD: How does it work?

It is remarkable how well Play Therapy interventions for ADHD work! I have seen wonderful results with many children, and abundant research supports its effectiveness. 

Play therapy operates with three main mechanisms: 1) Helping the child process distracting emotions, 2) Improving the power of decision and executive functioning, and 3) reducing impulsivity. Together with Parenting Counseling, it is doubly effective.

 

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What Are The Benefits of Play Therapy For My Child’s Emotional Health?

What Are The Benefits of Play Therapy For My Child’s Emotional Health?

While we do not allow all behaviors in children, we should allow and accept all feelings. Feelings are automatic and natural and not a product of conscious choice, so letting them flow is necessary for a child’s emotional development. However, when children express strong or negative feelings and desires, they are often met with disapproval by their parents or other adults. If he or she says, “I hate my brother!” the parent may respond, “Don’t say that! You really love him.”

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Buying kids toys – call them: “Emergency Toys”

Buying kids toys – call them: “Emergency Toys”

As I have said elsewhere, a generous amount of happiness for children is not a frivolous desire, a privilege or even a right, it is a deep and fundamental need. Growing up without enough happiness, joy and pleasure actually generates emotional illness. It is our job as parents to provide that happiness daily, in doses wisely administered at specific intervals when needed. 

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For Men: How to have a healthy relationship with a woman.

For Men: How to have a healthy relationship with a woman.

Man’s quest for how to have a healthy relationship with a member of the opposite sex is fraught with difficulty nowadays. Even Einstein, with all his genius, admitted that he was a total failure at maintaining a successful relationship with a woman. If he wasn’t smart enough to do it, how easy will it be for us? A large percentage of men in our society are extremely frustrated in this area and never find a satisfying mate. Another huge portion find and marry but end up in devastating divorces.

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“My child hits others!” How do we deal with aggression?

“My child hits others!” How do we deal with aggression?

Children often hit when they don't get what they "Want" but more often it's because they didn't get what they need. Let’s say the child gets an hour of TV, and when you tell her you have to turn it off, she gets angry and aggressive and starts hitting. The truth is an hour of TV is a somewhat arbitrary amount. She's telling you at this time, “I have a desperate need for the kind of pleasure and happiness that another 15 minutes of TV provides! Not getting it is intolerable to me and makes me feel extremely deprived and angry!” Again, don't feel you're spoiling your child by giving them that extra 15 minutes. You may be fulfilling an important need.

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Safety First but don't forget Emotional Safety

Safety First but don't forget Emotional Safety

I can’t stress enough how careful we as parents need to be with our children’s physical safety! There are unfortunately many accidents that might have been prevented. Therefore, we should never take any unnecessary risks with children. Yet, while guarding our children’s physical safety, we need avoid turning an excess of caution into a danger to their emotional health and safety! 

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What to do when your child makes a mistake? Accept, celebrate and learn!

What to do when your child makes a mistake? Accept, celebrate and learn!

In considering what to do when a child makes a mistake, we need to remember that when a child makes a mistake and is reprimanded or criticized, it prevents him from learning from the mistake. He feel so ashamed and put down by the reprimand that he wants to put the whole event out of his memory and so he tries to forget about it, and so the next time when the same situation arises he's more likely to make the same mistake again. The point of a reprimand is supposedly that the child will think, “Last time I did this I got an unpleasant reprimand, so I'll be careful not to do it again so I don't get a another reprimand.” 

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