Many parents often express disappointment in what they perceive as their children's overly childish behavior. In considering how to help a child mature, they often see their child can be quite intelligent and developed at times, they feel he has the ability to behave more maturely and it is the child's duty to rise to the occasion and cut out the kids’ stuff. 

All children need our love, but my dear mentor, clinical psychologist Dr. Ben Sorotzkin, says, they need our respect more than our love. Respect means we see the good and positive in them and parent with the benefit of the doubt.

Many parents are extremely frustrated with children who just don't seem to listen. There are important things that the children simply must do, but no matter how emphatically and repeatedly we instruct them, we are met with refusal, resistance and often an unpleasant battle. How can we best deal with this?

The number one parenting error is too much criticism!  Unfortunately, even so-called “constructive criticism” usually does more harm than good. The logic behind such criticism is that if the parent perceives that the child is making mistakes and behaving inappropriately, simply pointing out his mistakes or poor character traits will alert the child to the problem so she will take the information to heart and correct the error in the future.

Do you feel frustrated at having to constantly remind your child to be polite, shake hands, or say hello? Are you afraid that he or she is becoming unfriendly and is not learning social skills? Many parents are experiencing challenges figuring out manners for kids and consequently express concern. However, remembering a few key points can be very helpful.

When a problem arises or there is some form of misbehavior, you can communicate with children most effectively by writing a note. Haim Ginott, famed psychologist from the 1960’s and later his students Faber and Mazlish, developed this idea and I’ve added elucidation. Hand the child a piece of paper saying, “Billy, I see candy wrappers left on the couch,” and you will be amazed to see the results. Hang a note in the bathroom saying, “Wet towels should be hung up to dry,” and you will be pleasantly surprised at the outcome. Writing is much more than just a convenient way to store and send information, it is an extremely effective, wise and respectful method of communicating with children.

Faber and Mazlish in their classic “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen And How To Listen So Kids Will Talk” offer some great advice on teaching emotions, to which  I’ve added my own elucidation and explanation. Please keep in mind that these points are an ideal which may be difficult for many parents to fully achieve. Therefore we must have patience with ourselves, keeping in mind that doing as much as we can will be of great benefit to our children.

It may seem from reading my blog that I claim to be a parenting expert. While I do feel that I have some interesting and worthwhile advice to offer parents on various topics, on the topic of getting children potty trained early, however, I am no expert at all. All of my boys trained very late. Yet for potty training 101 I do have some advice to offer you, and that is that toilet training is best done later when the child is emotionally ready for it, as opposed to pressuring him or her to train early or by some arbitrary age. 

I have developed these parenting tips based on my experience in psychotherapy and teaching, on extensive research, advice of mentors, and my experience raising my own four boys. These suggestions represent a parenting ideal which no one can achieve perfectly, therefore I advise parents to have patience with themselves and try to implement new ideas gradually.