Are you tired or those constant sibling squabbles? Does your parental intervention just make it worse? Do you feel your kids just crave unlimited attention? Are you running out of sibling rivalry solutions?Read More
Many parents struggle with a child having anxiety about death. Maybe a grandparent has passed away, or maybe even a closer family member, and the child is worried it may happen to others he or she loves.Read More
There is a very popular concept going around the is pretty much universally accepted by most researchers, that when a child has a tantrum because he or she wants something, and you give in to the tantrum and give him what he wants, you behaviorally reinforce the tantrum, ensuring that he will have more tantrums in the future. The logic is that the child sees that having a tantrum gets him the reward he wants, so he is motivated to have more tantrums in the future as a way of getting what he wants. I actually agree that giving in can lead to more tantrums, at least in the short run and under certain conditions. But in discussing how to deal with temper tantrums, my point is you should still give in to them as best as you can anyway, and combined with some other strategies, you will in the long run actually eliminate tantrums! Let me explain…Read More
If I were to tell you that stuttering is genetic, or a hard-wired brain or speech defect, there would be nothing you could do to prevent it and little you could do to cure it, as you can’t change a child’s genetics or biology very much. But since I’m telling you that it is fueled by stressors in the environment, by changing the child’s environment through stuttering therapy for children including Play Therapy and Parenting Interventions, you can defuse what’s fueling the stuttering, and even allow it to be replaced with healthy speech habits which develop from the child’s newly earned emotional health!Read More
We as parents possess tremendous power to influence our children for the good; by improving the way we relate to them, we can literally fashion and shape their very emotional health, which is the critical foundation upon which a life of success will be built.Read More
In considering how to encourage siblings to get along, it’s good to remember that not only are there things we as parents can do, as I describe here, but there are things the kids themselves can work on to help get along better with their siblings. Therefore, I suggest you have your kids read the following advice:Read More
Self-esteem is based on having a conscious awareness of, honoring and respecting one's own emotions, needs, decisions and desires. A person with healthy self-esteem thinks, “I am aware of how I feel. Sometimes I feel this way, and sometimes I feel that way. I have a right to feel anything I want. My desires are legitimate and should be honored. I have a right to honor and try to fulfill any of my desires. My needs are important and people need to respect and attend to them. My decisions are valid and important and need to be honored and respected by people.” Such a person not only has a healthy relationship with himself, but since he treats himself with so much respect, he tends to treat others with equal respect and to be very kind, generous and helpful. How do we get a child to think in this healthy wayRead More
Many parents think that happiness is like a goal that they would like their children to achieve some day, like it's the icing on the cake. The important thing in life is to be a good person and to be successful, and happiness is like a nice pleasant extra. However I'm saying that happiness is like a tool that must be constantly applied in a child's life, it is the most important tool for child success. It is a most critical ingredient in the recipe for moral character.Read More
It takes both a mother and a father to make a child and ideally these two should work together in harmony to raise the child to be healthy. However as we know, conflict often arises between parents and everyone knows that it's seriously affects children.Read More
A perfectionist is someone with extremely low self-esteem who feels that the only way to redeem himself from those horrible feelings of low self-worth is to get things perfect, to have truly amazing accomplishments.Read More
It is remarkable how well Play Therapy interventions for ADHD work! I have seen wonderful results with many children, and abundant research supports its effectiveness.
Play therapy operates with three main mechanisms: 1) Helping the child process distracting emotions, 2) Improving the power of decision and executive functioning, and 3) reducing impulsivity. Together with Parenting Counseling, it is doubly effective.
Although I generally advise in my blog a more gentle, flexible parenting approach, in considering how to have authority over your child, obviously sometimes exercising a bit of parental authority it is necessary and best for everyone. The question is when and how much?Read More
While we do not allow all behaviors in children, we should allow and accept all feelings. Feelings are automatic and natural and not a product of conscious choice, so letting them flow is necessary for a child’s emotional development. However, when children express strong or negative feelings and desires, they are often met with disapproval by their parents or other adults. If he or she says, “I hate my brother!” the parent may respond, “Don’t say that! You really love him.”Read More
As I have said elsewhere, a generous amount of happiness for children is not a frivolous desire, a privilege or even a right, it is a deep and fundamental need. Growing up without enough happiness, joy and pleasure actually generates emotional illness. It is our job as parents to provide that happiness daily, in doses wisely administered at specific intervals when needed.Read More
I can’t stress enough how careful we as parents need to be with our children’s physical safety! There are unfortunately many accidents that might have been prevented. Therefore, we should never take any unnecessary risks with children. Yet, while guarding our children’s physical safety, we need avoid turning an excess of caution into a danger to their emotional health and safety!Read More
In considering what to do when a child makes a mistake, we need to remember that when a child makes a mistake and is reprimanded or criticized, it prevents him from learning from the mistake. He feel so ashamed and put down by the reprimand that he wants to put the whole event out of his memory and so he tries to forget about it, and so the next time when the same situation arises he's more likely to make the same mistake again. The point of a reprimand is supposedly that the child will think, “Last time I did this I got an unpleasant reprimand, so I'll be careful not to do it again so I don't get a another reprimand.”Read More
So if not through praise, how do we get a child to himself conclude that he is good and worthy and create true self-esteem? The answer is through celebrating and describing. Take celebrating.
Let’s say a child finishes a puzzle by himself and he's praised, “Good boy, what a great job you did!” The child will think the good thing about finishing puzzles is that I will get pleasant praise after I'm done. That is extrinsic motivation and causes the child to think the enjoyment and satisfaction I get out of doing the puzzle itself is not so important.